eye..

Once, I was with this friend of mine, a gentleman .Then along came another friend of mine, a lady. Now, by no mean this two person involved in a romantic relationship or sort. Hell, they are so different, in act, things they like and culturally, it would be unbeliaveble for them to do so. They are friends, like me and that lady. This gentleman is obviously taller than me n have good looks, maybe a bit of charm. They start to engage in conversation, nothing special, pretty normal. I tried to get along, to no avail, it seems to be no respond from the both parties, so they continued on. For several times I’m literally talking to a brick wall. I started to realize, hey! this is nothing, it happens to me all the time. Nah, no one wants to talk to me anyway. Then I was wondering..why? Whats wrong in my social skills in groups and with different gender? Am I respectable of something? Did I have a big EGO that everyone hates. I never think too good of myself, and never boast how good I am compared to other. So how do I really look like in the eyes of ladies out there. Ladies drop some comments will ya..

(notice the pattern, similar to the Kubler-Ross model http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stages_of_grief))

Blogging..

When is my last post eh? Oh..June. I was wondering why most people are so much in craze to create their own blog about this and that. Usually the story goes like: Today I feed my cat and it rolls around happily after being fed by me. She is so cute and I love my cat, so on and so forth. Sure, that is what blog is all about right? Expressing yourself bout things that people don’t really care of (pretty much of what I’ve been writing hehe.., thanks for the comments).

Anyway, I’m not planning to create another blog at blogspot .com or something. Let it be that this is the only one. You guys don’t read it, I don’t even care. I am kind of too lazy to write about new things, even though  there’s a lot of thing to talk about, like around Auckland or my new Acer Aspire 6935G (which I purposely announce here with biggest ever nostrils).  Anyway, she is a beauty! I am currently back home in Malaysia in order to save money, because I don’t work there in Auckland and I don’t want to pay the summer rent. I also wanted to see my newborn nephew. People have been surprised that I don’t even increase weight (duh!) even with all the NZ dairies.

So I got nothing much to do at home besides babysitting my nephews and niece, reading stuff online and of course, computer games! To all my friends in Auckland, hope to see you guys again in Feb. I can’t wait to don the foil and fence again, and everyone will kick my ass, again! God save us all!

Krakatoa..

It seems that because I have nothing to do for the past few weeks that I bought several books to entertain me on bed at night (yes, I was bored). One of these is a nice thing written by Simon Winchester about Krakatoa. We all know and heard about Krakatoa, the volcano that erupted more than 100 years ago. The thing about this book is they way Winchester reflects on the cataclysmic events on 1883, how it relates with one another, how the science was found and much more. Winchester discussed much about the origins of plate tectonics, which is quite new to science as people during Krakatoa time, believes the continent doesn’t move. The theory itself explains why Indonesia is epicenter volcanic activity (pacific ring of fire). Its seems that the Aussie is charging forward, which created fault line all along Sumatra and Java (which suggest Malaysia will one day cease to exist, crushed by Aussie, but that’s gonna be million years in the future). And where there’s fault line, there’s volcanoes and earthquake. Just look at Indonesia..you’ll get what I mean.

Surprisingly, Winchester also noted on the biological differences in Indonesia, this so called ‘Wallace line’ that separates SEA flora and fauna with those of Australians’. Reading this book is much like watching the connection series on History Channel (If you’ve watched them), which one thing relates to another in the ways you can’t imagine they did. Like ‘gutta percha (getah percha)’ which insulates telegraph cables, which is abundant in SEA, which helps the world to know about Krakatoa (it was the latest invention back then), which help to explain why it is famous. Now, Winchester also touch a part of Dutch Colonization of Indonesia (I’m proud that were part of the British than Dutch but who gives a damn). How life was like in Batavia (Betawi, now Jakarta). Much like any European colonies, locals are servants to their Europeans Master. Despite having the largest Muslim population, much of the locals differ from the Arab’s sense of Islam. Woman bathing half-naked in canals, Syariah diluted with Adats and past Hinduism beliefs. They still believe in ‘Orang Alijeh’ spirits that guarded the Krakatoa. So Islamic were the Indonesian and probably much the rest of SEA back then huh?

  The Krakatoa changes all this. The destruction was massive. Tsunamis destroyed much of east Java and South Sumatra, with roars heard in much of SEA and Australia. The ash covers most of the world, dropping temperature for a few degrees (wow, we need one now because of the Global Warming!). Pumice, along with skeletons floats in the Indian Ocean months after the eruption, all in all, it’s an almighty eruption! Destruction, poverty and hardship somehow relates to terrorism which Winchester argues the cause of rebellion after the eruption events. Somehow, some of the Javanese turn into religious zealots, Islamic fundamentalist (well, it seem most of them still are now), bracing for Jihad against the Dutch. Aided by the Mecca educated Hajis, which reveals themselves as so called ‘Mahdi’ that will come on the End Time (if you’ve seen cloud of smoke rising up, thundering roars, and tsunamis you would believe its Doomsday too). It seems that Winchester tries to relate the current issue of religious fundamentalism (Islamic, especially) with hardship of survival, or war of ideologies that were in fact never cease to end, centuries ago. He could be satirizing Indonesians’ Muslim, past and present on how un-Islamic they were and how easily Muslims influenced by religious cause, which foreshadow the lack of knowledge among them. Personally for me, don’t you think there’s and explanation of things happening around us (like tsunamis, earthquake) that can be seen, recorded and learn upon? So why should we hastily look for Walis, Imams or Priests for divination while God has given us the Knowledge (in the form of disasters). Turning ourselves into fanatics by our ignorance? Come on, you’ll see Mosques survived during the 2004 tsunamis, can you accept the fact that they were well constructed compared to houses instead of its’ divine? Churches and Temples would survive too if it were there. And why so the Babri Mosque that was demolished by the Hindus was, well demolished, if Mosques are so ‘divine’? So don’t be ignorant people..worldly knowledge as is important as afterlife too.

In conclusion, Krakatoa is a nice compilation of everything that seems, unconnected, but played a role in that almighty event of August 1883.

almost two weeks….

Yes, yes….i know computer is not major thing in life (for some) but for some its kinda a central core of their everyday activities. Me?? yeah..i believe my virtual life is could be more interesting than real (or could it?)..reading stuff, watching vid, ehem2 n stuff..see exiting! But for almost two week now i’ve been running around, go out more often (spending on d process), take d fresh cold air, just because my laptop is not with me. Sent it to Ellerslie..damn far place.

I guess…theres a ‘hikmah’ behind it. It makes me go out more often, walking along Queen street, burning fat (wahaha).To say that I use the time to meet a new female friend??nahh..not in this lifetime i guess.So..I’ve re-read my books, and bought some new books (weapons n firearms; very-very nice, and very-very big hole in my pocket). But still im not satisfied having no laptop with me. I just don’t want to buy a new one yet. Eventhough i got the green light form ma & pa. By the time we all get back to malaysia..evryone gonna ave a new laptop..so i still ave the old one..jealous (hahaha). So anyway, if buying the new one is the case..i’ll look something for gaming than brand. It makes sense to buy Mac or VAIO here in overseas..dunno, my mates have been suggesting that. I don’t care much as long as it has Nvidia or ATI in it..Oohh..I’m so missing playing games..tears in my eyes..MY LIFE! I HAVE LOST MY LIFE! PLEASE COME BACK BABY (my laptop), I MISS YOU!!!

Dunno what to write bout..

    Haven’t been writing for a long time ya? Maybe I can’t crack something out of my head. Hows life..? Well, its been good in this mundane and routine lifestyle. Went to lectures, went to tutorials, went back home, eat and sleep..repeat and repeat.
My acquaintances (friends) doesn’t seem to care either. They say live life to the fullest ya? Well it seems they do..Ahh, what can I do? Assignments? MALAS!..there you go , bloody straight and honest. Gotta send one next week, as usual i don’t pay much attention to it until the last minute. Maybe I should start some now eh?
    Sometimes I felt like I haven’t performed well. MALAS? well, I’ve have always been MALAS throughout my existence..for honest sake. Bile mase Dyau rajin? Anyway, Its either I’m not good in the first place or I should just buck up for my studies. Maybe I’m not as good as I believe I am..could it be luck? prayer of my parents? and God’s blessing that propelled me in my academic drive instead of myself? Perhaps..
    I miss kissing my parents hands, my mum’s cheek before I go to school every morning in primary…wonderful days huh? unmolested and innocent. Sad…..

Things that bugging me..

1. The only thing I know of life involves waking up, go to class, internet n games..rinse and repeat everyday..
2. I felt like girls hate me coz according to some I’m a perv.. looking at boobs, making sly comment n watch porn..duh, like other guys don’t do that! The thing here is: WHY THE F#@K U GIRLS CARE BOUT IT SO MUCH THAT U SHARE WIT EACH OTHER!..yeah yeah we cant stop human nature of telling bad things bout others and forgot the deeds their done to u, it makes a good story isn’t, while u girls ave your pillow talk. Worst of all..when the F@#K am I trying to make out wit u girls? U make me sound like a sexual predator or some kind of sadistic rapist..So stop it!
3. Lonely..maybe the direct result of above two
4. Got German vocab test on Monday..my math is bad and you expect me to do funfundsiebzig minus siebundzwanzig in seconds!!!
5. Assignment ESOL 210..found d article. Need some writing to do.
6. I had a frappucino and my God the cream taste too good..which later I found out could be animal fat (prob lard).
7. My cellphone batt seem to dry up too quick even if I’m not using them much
8. I know theres some things that I need to fill up and give to
Sheryll (my mum from hell)
9. How much GB I’ve been using
10. What to eat tomorrow..Oh well, scavenge around d shops i guess
11. Some books to buy some articles to copy

On the bright side, my family still exist and I phone em everyday, I’m not thinking of working yet, I had a good meal. Even if I’m lonely I still try to enjoy the best that I had:  this laptop n internet, my books (Which makes me worried).Most importantly I still breathe and pray to God, hopefully there’s better thing bout tomorrow than today

I open wide and she puts it in..

    I believe you guys have seen my teeth and how it looks like. Well I’m sure non of you know bout the inside. Today I decided to visit a government clinic for scaling. The reason for that is it’s cheap (RM3 maa..) and I’m afraid my teeth will fell off before it suppose too.
    You see, bacteria loves my oral cavity. Those tea and coffee combined with other factors I’m embarrassed to tell you, make it such heaven for plaque buildup, resulting a calculus (no not the math one).
    As usual for a government clinic you have to wait almost an hour for services. When my numbers appear on the blinkin stuff, I stepped myself into a room which looks more like in those alien abduction stories, bright white light with a chair underneath. Wires and tubes dangling like some sort of anal probe device (fortunately it enters the other way around ;P ). The dentist is a she. I can’t see her face because of the surgical mask but I bet shes pretty coz of her hair (amoi maa..). I saw she’s preparing this thing that looks like a drill bit. She ask me to open my mouth and insert this sucking tube (i don’t know the tech name) which later I had to hold throughout the process. Open wide…she said, then in the mirror with the drill thingy. It doesn’t feel a thing at first, but when she digs into the gums..Oh God help me! Gently (well, rather mercilessly) she guides it to each and everyone of my tooth n when its on d worst part of the buildup, I started to groan. Relax! Relax! her wide eyes pierced me wit bit of irritation maybe. Couple more tooth and its over (that doesn’t take long). Another Indian dentist gave me a cup of water to gargle. It bleeds quite a lot that I ask more water to gargle. There’s a large mirror nearby which I check my teeth later, to see if there’s any difference. I noticed she looked at me which puzzling sort of look. Maybe I’m the weirdest patient she ever had..
    Thus in the end my teeth is a bit cleaner but not exactly sparkling white. It’s just that the calculus has gone. Teach me a lot about taking care of my oral hygiene..Hmm.. I wanna go and brush my teeth…

Watching Man of The Year on HBO..

    To tell you the truth, politics is something complicated that some people like to talk bout and make it as if they know a whole lot of things but at the same time are not willing to participate in it. Such people are those who sit around at coffee shops and tried to solve national issues while banging at the table as if its a parliamentary debate (I felt like I’m one too its just i don’t sit at coffee shops)..
     But how smart actually are voters, no how smart and open they are? I mean like do we have comedians who make political jokes here like Robin Williams in the Man of The Year? Woo..i think if someone tries to do that probably they’ll be banned from media. Coz we have all learn trough our nice one week of brainwashing thing (i forgot actually), that the government will always do the best for the people. So you cannot make fun or joke around about government policies. To think of it, we are lucky that we don’t have much lobbyist here (or do we?), so the power is still in our hands?.Or it that what it seems to be?
    Ok, I’m not making any sense here and most you probably would not read this anyway.Lastly some quote from Tom Dobbs (Robin Williams in that movie) ‘politicians are like diapers, they need to be change often, thats why you vote’…My my,our politics must be really stink…

Wah 6 tahun! Doktor ke Engineer?

    Straight to the point here. I’m shocked and upset! Very upset. Someone happened to ask me am I studying and how many years. So I answered six years. He then said "Jadi ape? Doktor ek? kat mane?" I answered no, before I can finish, as if with the greatest confidence as the sun will always rise in the east he said "Oh Engineer". Now that my breaking point. I looked directly in his eyes with, with my teeth clenched as if bittered hatred has fell before me "Tak! Cikgu..Cikgu Bahasa Inggeris, in a bit angry voice. "Oh" he not dared to say a word anymore. I’m sure this happened to most of you IPBArians when people first heard of what you are doing. Uii 6 tahun, macam doktor la pulak!
    I’m used to it too, but personally I felt as if it is an insult (sorry guys, but in this blog i feel free to express my feelings and I’m not associating it with anyone). When I answered back ‘Cikgu Bahasa Inggeris’ I do it with the utmost pride in my heart, that I can be somebody and I’m doing something great. Just look at the common Malaysians English (esp Malays), you’ll understand. I’ve seen this during SBE so I dare  to say it. If I can make those lads utter a sentence in English, my God! as if they are a totally new person.
    Please, please, please!Help to change the society mentality towards teachers. Sure we are not paid as much as doctors and engineers, but we played a role in developing the core this nation, it’s manpower! Docs out there helped to maintain it in healthy state and Engineers build the infrastructure for it to operate. So it starts with us actually (now I don’t want a debate bout docs take care of childbirth, engineers build houses..so on and so on).
    Now I’m not having grudges against my engineers and doctors friends(wajdi, ali, adli, arif n most of my MRSM school mates). I do not envy you guys for being what you are. But its not only u guys that studied hard and for a long period of time, us teachers too. Sure we English teachers do not have to calculate much, but theres a lot of theories to remember, lots of books to read, a lot of psychological use of the mind because humans are unpredictable machine. Our patients do not die when we make mistakes, it carries our mistakes thus it lives on long after we are gone.
So please, being a teacher as not as easy as it sounds like and give some respect for teachers too..not " Eleh jadi cikgu je, ape kelas"
    Comments are welcomed…

God! If only they knew..

    My mum was watching this Malay drama, I happened to be in the kitchen (where the TV is) for a cup of coffee. There was a sad scene, typical of Malay dramas. What interesting was the background music, a sad melody. I seems to recognized from somewhere. Its a not a popular song, i’m sure of that. Thus I listen closely..
    Oh my God! Its the Hatikvah! The National Anthem of Israel!..how could this be? Probably the most undesirable nation to almost all Malaysian but theres a Malay drama here playing the melody.
    Weirdly..The Hatikvah (Hope in English) is sad, sad anthem. The tune is slow n melancholic..makes you want to cry. Probably the Israelis are yearning to tell the people of the world how they have suffered for thousands of years, being slaves n kick out from their long gone promised land. Probably the want the world to sympathize them. Maybe thats the reason for the sad tune anthem.
    Anyway, what puzzled me was does the people involved in making the drama do not realize they are using the Israeli anthem?..Hmm. There’s always Youtube if u guys want to listen to it..Taa.

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